I look at the news these days, political turmoil, mass shootings, the return of fascism in Europe, even corruption in mother church - and I worry about the future.
We’re all going to die.
Today we pay respects to a man, that showed how to deal, with worries about that future. Live the life you have, while you have it - and help the people around you, to live theirs whenever you can.
We only control our own actions, our own responses to the world. We can only directly affect, the people that are around us. One of Dad’s lessons is that - It is enough. - It’s a lesson he taught through example. Just make sure your actions help the people around you - and it will be enough.
If we all do that, life is good. If everyone were to do that, as well as dad did, life everywhere, would be good.
Dad loved his family, friends, food, travel and laughter. He lived his life to the full. Visited every inhabited continent (not a lot of top cuisine in Antarctica), sixty-ish countries, countless cities, and lots of food. He and mom saw the world, tasted the world, and tried to make it a better place.
He would often use his great poetic skills, to celebrate laughter, and friends, and food. With mom as a co-author, they wrote poems - to be delivered with oratory flourish, or hidden in a present, with a girdle, as appropriate.
They were usually, in accompaniment, of an event full of friends, food, and laughter. Ranging from bridge and food with neighbours, to chartered aircraft and food with neighbours - they all included friends, food and laughter. Over the years, I met so many of his ‘good friends’, that he must have warped time, keeping up with them all.
His accomplishments, as his kids grew up, were as varied as:
winning at trivial pursuit in a single turn, amongst other feats of wonder, in his storied board and card gaming career;
Waking his children with good cheer every morning...**(he never pretended to be perfect...perky morning people...)**
Driving two hours each way, to spend the summers at the LH Estates, surrounded by good food and friends, while playing math and word games in the car. Not having video in cars, meant learning, to prevent child boredom.
Picking us children back up, after we fell - both physically, and metaphysically - and putting us back on our feet. Some of us fell harder and heavier than others, but he was there for us all.
Educating the palate of his children, while cooking family dinner with mom most evenings - except Tuesdays. Something about playing Bridge. ** (I was years before I found out, it wasn't about helping people, to get to the other side of something) **;
Apparently, he was a lawyer of some standing or something as well, and did some other stuff during that time in his life, but it always came second to his family.
Various people have commented that legal work, on his incisiveness, his intellect, and his fairness. This was a lawyer who was told by CRA federal auditors, that he could avoid more in taxes, than he did. He didn’t want to. He wanted to contribute, to the society, that had granted him, so much.
That is so far outside, the known social dynamic lawyers reside, that I struggle to reconcile, that career choice with the man we knew.
His passions, outside of his friends and family, included Bridge (at which he excelled), Cooking (at which he excelled), Law (at which he excelled), Skiing (at which he excelled), Travel (at which he excelled), and Golf (at which he kept himself humble). Excelling at everything is boring, and Dad was never that.
His children, and any others that were paying attention, learned how to shrug off adversity, and keep living, in large part, by watching the way he didn’t let Parkinson’s, or yet another missed putt, or a shattered leg while skiing - keep him, from living.
Neither the mundane, nor the tragic, could dent his zest for living. His family seems to look for opportunities, to get surgical steel in our legs, in homage to that ‘carry on attitude’.
The English think the phrase ‘keep calm and carry on’ embodies a positive national trait. The Irish, the Irish, know it should be ‘keep calm, carry on, and laugh in fate‘s face’ - maybe sing a song, share a strong drink, or put it in verse. Dad understood that. He embraced it.
His children all feel truly blessed to have had him as a father...more than blessed. His family has always been in awe - of dad...hoped we could learn to emulate - dad...we will always cherish the lifetime of wonderful memories - of dad.
We’re all going to die.
All we can do, is to try to live a life as worthwhile - as worthy - as dad.
Gods Bless.